Why does a girl like me care about Lent?

For most of my life Lent meant something to my friends and nothing to me... friends with ash on their foreheads and giving up Dr. Pepper, chips, and candy. Fridays were vegetarian, for lunch we had to go to Pizza Hut for cheese pizza, but we couldn't touch the Dr. Pepper. I was intrigued by the idea but also thankful that I didn't have to give up anything.  I could drink my Dr. Pepper and have pepperoni on my pizza. I was thankful to be an evangelical, there was no ash for me, no giving up for Lent, no preparation for the Easter season.

But now, I've been counting down the days until Lent, until Ash Wednesday.  I won't be giving up pop, chips or candy and I'll still have a burger on Friday, but my heart enters into the Lenten season with awe.  My heart longs for awe, not the giving up of trivial things, but living in the continual attitude of awe.  Awe because the universe was created with a word.  Awe because the same Jesus that was a part of creating the universe came as a human baby.  Awe because that baby was both man and God and lived a holy life.  Awe because he chose to be the pure blameless sacrifice.  Awe because His being a sacrifice for me means that I now get to enter into His eternal life.

Lent comes from the Old English word meaning spring or the lengthening of days. Spring, that thing we long for after a cold snowy winter, where death turns to life and new growth pushes away the old, where our skin is warmed by the burst of sunlight and energy returns to our bodies.  Lent, a season that historically the church observed as a time of fasting, of remembering the suffering of our Savior that ends with the celebration of Easter, the ultimate spring when death is forever conquered and eternal life forever available. For me Lent won't be all about the giving up of trivial things but rather hanging onto to the eternal things.  It will be seeing the places where I have been asked to share in Christ's sufferings and fast from the triviality of this world.  This girl cares about Lent because it awakens awe and stirs up wonder and breathes mystery into her very human existence.

And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.

Romans 8:17

For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him. We are in this struggle together. You have seen my struggle in the past, and you know that I am still in the midst of it.

Philippians 1:29-30

before its too late....

When is it too late, too late to show up to a party, too late to call a friend, too late to pay a bill, too late for the rain to fall, too late for a library book to be found, too late to say, "I'm sorry".

As humans we can't seem to get the timing right. When it comes to spending money, we spend too soon. When it comes to bailing on a hard situation, we jump ship before the refining is complete. But when it comes to resolving relationship we wait too long.

Before GPS, Paul and I noticed that we gave up finding the location just before our turn off. We even had to start disciplining ourselves to say, we always quit too soon, we better drive a little longer.

There are so many things I'm tempted to quit on, not go the extra mile. There are so many times I don't want to wait on God to provide, I want to do it in my own timing. I want to learn to be quick to say I'm sorry and slow to be angry. Its so easy to do it backwards... quick to be angry, slow to say I'm sorry.

But God is not like us, everything happens when it should. He provides the rain before its too late. He provides for our needs at just the right time. He brings us our children at just the right time. He heals our hearts before its too late.

God, grant me the humility to stick with you, to submit to your timing. To be present with you in the moment you have placed me. To love deeply those around me by remembering to be quick to apologize and slow to anger. Grant me the peace to stick to your pace, not to run ahead and the focus to not be distracted. God, you are never late. You established time, you command time, you are not worried about time. So right here, right now I submit myself to your time.

A Year of Favorites

Our 2013 has burst at the seams, exploding into 2014. My mind is already racing but today is a day to reflect on the great gifts of last year and dream about the coming year.   Here is my 2013 list of favorites with a sprinkling of some pictures from a few of my favorite events:

ACCC Spring Concert

Favorite Blog -
A Great Book Study   This woman is reading through the same classics list I am and writing about it.  What's not to like about that?  She's ahead of me, so as I hit rough waters in a few books, I drew encouragement from what she had already written about.

January Birthday Celebration

Favorite Organization that Gives Back to Orphans -
There are so many great organizations, but Just Love Coffee wins in my book.  The coffee tastes great, its fair trade and its helps to fund adoptions.  If you want to order some to help with the travel costs in our adoption, just click here and it will take you to our storefront.

The Corn Maze

Favorite Book
Mika keeps asking me what my favorite book of 2013 was and I keep saying "I don't know".  If I have to narrow it down to just one, I'm going with Quiet by Susan Cain as my all time favorite in 2013.  Quiet explores the world of introverts and the strengths of introverts.

My Favorite "Quiet" girl's 13th birthday

Favorite Album
My all time favorite album of 2013 was I Am Mountain by Gungor.  The lyrics were so beautiful, the music was creative.... it fed my soul and my ears.  Check out Wandering  my favorite song from I am Mountain here.

There's a new instrument being played in our house

Favorite Hang-out
Its not Starbucks, its not Barnes and Noble.. I enjoy the Emporium in Scottsbluff, but our favorite hang out is McDonald's.  I have become more and more thankful that somebody chose to put a McDonald's here. Our almost okay coffee shop left this fall and we started hanging out at McDonald's.  I've reminded our kids a few times (really I'm rehearsing these thoughts for myself) that one of the gifts of a small town is the gift of not becoming pretentious.  We don't have a lot of choices so we get creative and enjoy the gifts we have.

Somebody turned 10!

Favorite Rhythm
My favorite rhythm of 2013 is my time with the kids at the beginning of school.  We read Teaching Minds, Training Hearts by Starr Meade and then we read a bit out of a non-fiction book and a bit out of a fiction book.  My kids have grown in their understanding of scripture and doctrine and we have had some great discussions.

The Braddy Cousins

Favorite Pastime
In case you haven't caught on yet, my favorite pastime is reading especially my journey through the classics. It has stretched me at times and encouraged me at others.  To see the books I read this year, click here.

Mt Evans with Paul and Di

Favorite Intentional Moment
My favorite intentional moment in 2013 was our continued journey to adopt.  There has been so much to do, funds to raise, paperwork to fill out, people to contact, conversations to have and God has faithfully provided each step of the way.  He has showed himself as provider, peace, and patience.  In 2014 we will be introduced to our boys and introduce you to them as well.

2care4orphans 5K - raising $$$ to bring our boys home

Mika's friends join in on the journey

Happy 2014!  What were your favorites of 2013?  How did God show himself to you in 2013?

7 stockings hung with care, now we just need 2 more Braddys

This is Christmas

There is a place where love and tears meet and grace flows freely.

There is a place where weak are made strong and the strong are humbled into the place of weakness.  

There is a place where our very human experience is made sacred, holy, right.  

A place that exists because a baby entered into our darkness, a place where angels fought the darkness with their songs and announced the Christ child's birth.  

Yesterday, I saw a glimpse of this place, friends gathered to sing, singing songs about this Christ child to those weak, those humbled, those twisted and worn-out, to those precious and beautiful, to those created in the very image of God waiting to enter His presence, to those created in His image that haven't yet received His Son.

My tears flowed as I watched a 5 year-old friend smile and say Merry Christmas

a 10 year-old son sing earnestly, 

a 11 year-old son try to finding his footing in this sacred place,

11 year-old friend eagerly give good gifts,

13 year-old daughter sing like an angel, 

teenage friends stoop and gently touch the tired, the worn out whispering, "You are loved", 

adult friends saying, "You are not forgotten, I see you" 

and elderly friends stoop down and look directly into the eyes of the worn out, the twisted, the tired, the ready to leave this earth and say, "Your soul is not worn out, your soul has unimaginable worth" 

and my heart cried, "This is where love and tears meet, this is where grace flows freely, this is where the weak are made strong and the strong are humbled into the place of weakness...this is sacred, this is holy, this is right."

As we sang, "O Holy Night", I heard lyrics in a way I had never heard them before...

"'til he appeared and the soul felt its worth, 

a thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices"

This is what brings worth, its in the reaching, and stooping and touching one another.  This is the loving and the serving of one another. This is worship. This is Christmas.

Grace

This is a week full of dates to remember.... St Nicholas Feast Day,  The Attack on Pearl Harbor, The Treaty of Paris, the birthdays of many friends, my cousin's birthday, and my sister's birthday.  But there were two dates that ate away at me all day today, the day my mom had surgery for cancer and the day I finished my Masters.  Those two dates are oddly connected in my mind.  One difficult, one celebration.  One the beginning of a journey, the other the end of a journey. They intersected the same year, at the same time.  I had one final paper the day my mom went into surgery.  My procrastination had won out, I thought I would have it done, but instead I sat in the hospital cafeteria typing a paper.  Six years later I'm not even sure what it was about, but the memory of sitting, typing and watching the snow fall is still fresh in my  mind.  Tonight I went to put on the necklace my husband gave me for graduation and every fear, every worry, every unknown came flying back at me.  Fear I had laid to rest, worry that had passed its expiration and unknowns that had become known.

Its in those moments that I can get lost in the past unless I hold on to the promise

 ~ "You will never be alone" 

Its in those moments when I want to seek comfort rather than Christ 

~ "I will be your rock"

  Its in those moments that I want to be grumpy rather than grateful 

~ "Rejoice in everything"

Its in those moments when I need

~ Grace

Grace has come.  With time grace has been poured out richly.  The more I watch for it the more I see ~ Grace!  Grace in the snow falling, Grace in the wind speaking His name, Grace in the presence of friends and co-laborers, Grace in a child's smile, a tween's look and teen's sarcasm, Grace in a husband who knows just how to reach my heart.  Grace.  Grace has been the fruit of the journey.  Grace is the reward of entering into the hard places.  It doesn't matter what happened a year ago this week, six years ago or centuries ago, God's grace hasn't changed.  May God pour His grace out on you and May you receive it and cherish the wonder of it.

Advent. Waiting. Coming

Its the last night of the first week of Advent, a week to think about Christ's coming, a week to think about the waiting, a week to think about the story, a week to experience change. 

 I started this week wondering, where has my wonder gone?  Do I still anticipate?   

Do I still get the chills at the thought of this God-child come to rescue me?   

And so I immerse myself in "the story" told in different ways but all pointing towards my Savior.  

All breathing wonder.  All whispering His name.  

All saying, here is the the Savior, here is the one come to rescue you.  

Advent.  Waiting.  Coming.

Advent.  Anticipation.  Wonder

"Somehow, this baby in this carpenter's home, in the middle of the village night, was the magnificent unmoving star, the center of all moving things, of all life, of the whole world."

Seeker of the Stars by Susan Fish

Inexpressible

The word of the day... inexpressible.  Some days are full of inexpressible joy and others.... inexpressible pain, sorrow and grief.  Last night, a dear one in our fellowship of believers entered the presence of Jesus. We mourn the loss of her presence on this earth and the grief is inexpressible.  This morning a friend sent me a text with this verse...

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. 

 For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, 

but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

Romans 8:26

I am comforted, I may not know what to pray or how to express, but the Spirit is expressing it beautifully to the Father.  The Spirit knows what to pray, knows how to comfort, knows how to enter into our grief.   The tears will not end soon, and this moment will always be inexpressible but we have an advocate that will continue to express and pray on our behalf through the inexpressible.

Please remember this family in prayer, this husband, these precious three children.  Please remember this body of believers and this community.  Let the Spirit of God inside of you intercede on their behalf.  He will be the comforter.