Good Gifts.....Learning to Let Go.... iPod touch

On Christmas Day, we bought an iPod touch.  I had been saving birthday money, a few gifts here and there and Paul and I both got some money from Christmas that  allowed us to buy this material treasure.  I know you can already tell that I had too much emotional attachment to this electronic device.  I had saved this money for an undisclosed artistic activity that would be permanently attached to my body, but then I started to think it would be better to get a Kindle, I could see the  homeschooling benefits of having an e-reader, especially after packing and unpacking books for all of our trips.   But then Paul started thinking an iPod touch was the way to go, he wanted the video capabilities, and really started to see the options it gave our music ministry.  I start looking at the iPod touch and decide that for our low-budget and current needs it would be a great multi-tasking device.  On Christmas morning, I start googling iPods and find an incredible Christmas morning deal.  And I fall in love with this little electronic device, on the road its so handy.... books, email, music, games, facebook, netflix, camera, taking videos.  But then the unthinkable happens.... Paul ends up in a hospital in Mexico and the iPod goes with him and ends up on the same table as a beautiful bouquet of flowers and gets watered.  In case you aren't up with technology....great tools....don't respond to water very well.  Initially, I don't care, my emotions are more wrapped up with Paul (thankfully, it would be terrible if I was more worried about the iPod). But as Paul starts to heal, I start to get really irritated. I'm really irritated because I can't replace the stupid thing, our budget doesn't allow for that.  I'm really, really irritated because I can' t believe that I have allowed my heart to be taken captive by a stupid electronic device.  I'm really, really, really irritated because Paul ISN'T irritated and so I feel stupid, really, really stupid.  It doesn't take me long to realize that I need a heart-to-heart with God, because there is some really, ugly stuff in my heart, stuff that I'm ashamed even took root there in the first place.  I realized that I love gifts and I hold on to gifts...maybe a better word would be cling.  I feel special when I receive gifts and in my mind this iPod was the culmination of a lot of gifts and I wanted to hold on to it forever and now I needed to let go. Could I trust that there were more gifts coming and maybe even better gifts?  Could I trust my husband to love me in a way that made me feel special?  Could I trust God to love me in a way that made me feel special?  Do I really even need to feel special?  My heart kept coming back to yes..I can trust God and because I can trust God, I can trust my husband, and I don't really need to have things to feel special.... I can choose to trust God that I am uniquely His, I can trust Paul that I am uniquely his and who cares what gifts I receive or possessions I may have.  AND then......God chose to shower me with gifts...a Kindle and an iPod touch.  And (so far) I have chosen not to let them steal my heart, but to let my heart belong only to God.