Do Not Be Afraid - A Birthday Tribute

8 years ago, this morning, one of the scariest days of my life began.  Three days before I had listened to a friend speak at a convention in Denver, and she spoke about this command that appears over and over in the Bible to not be afraid.  The day after she spoke I ended up at University Hospital in Denver having contractions at 34 weeks.  The doctors at University stopped my labor, sent me back to the hotel and suggested I should check with my doctor in Cheyenne when I got home.  So, having had two small children in a hotel room for a week we decided to not stay for the rest of the convention and just head home.

The morning of the 27th began as normally as any Saturday morning, but within an hour Paul was frantically calling my doctor's pager because I was hemorrhaging.  Although there are many details to this story, the most important detail is that although the placenta had separated I delivered a beautiful little boy that day.  All day that day and for the next couple of weeks I kept reminding myself... Do NOT be afraid.  I think even if Jesus had been visible to me, he would have been saying the same thing.  It is in my nature to be frightened to worry, to wonder, to let my imagination run away to the worst possible place.  The thing is our little boy struggled for the first couple of days, he really didn't like this new world, he couldn't breathe, he didn't like to be touched, he had to be fed through a tube and eventually hang out under an absurd light.

I look back at 8 years ago and remember the fear, but also the promise that came after Do Not Be Afraid.  It wasn't a promise of perfection or ease.  It was a promise of faithfulness, it was a promise from a Savior that said, "I know this is scary, but I really don't want you  to be afraid, because I'm going to be there with you every step of the way.  We will laugh together, cry together, but know that you will never endure this alone."

When I look into the eyes of my 8 year old I see God's grace and faithfulness.