The more I say it, the more I feel it setting a rhythm for my heart, but it must be setting a rhythm and my heart must walk in step.
But it doesn't... the rhythm goes on and my heart is sitting on the side of the road in its big fluffy pink prom dress, with its tiara, watching the rhythm pass by and its pouting a big pout. My head is telling my heart to get itself off the side of the street and fall into rhythm and join the parade but my heart just doesn't want to. It doesn't follow well, of all the things it does well, following is not one of them....
Jesus is pretty clear on this following thing.
Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone, but if it dies it bears much fruit. Whoever loses his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must FOLLOW me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him. John 12:24-26
So, I ask myself, am I following. When you see me, do you see Jesus or just Cristine. If all you see is Cristine, then I'm not following well. Following is hard, it requires death. It means death to myself, to my desires, to my wants and my dreams. I can't even tell you how many hours I've spent crying because following is hard. Christ promises great things if I FOLLOW him and the the people he's asked me to follow. He promises that I will bear much fruit. He promises me eternity. He promises me honor. BUT I have to follow. I have to get off the curb, I have to quit going the opposite direction, I have to stand up and walk with him. His dreams must become my dreams, his desires my desires, his actions my actions. No more Cristine... only Christ.
Following... following... following,,, following
