The Sweetness of Obedience

I have some irrational fears.  Sometimes you just have to get it out, put it on paper and say.... my fears have been and continue to be irrational, but I had forgotten about one of them and God's deliverance until this morning.

This week I was reading  chapter four in The Story,  Deliverance, which is all about Moses and God's redemption of the Israelites.  I struggled with this chapter because I wanted something fresh, but this is a passage I have studied and taught on many times.  There were good things about it.... feeling like I was visiting with an old friend, one that I knew really well, one that I could finish her sentences, one that I knew her story and she knew mine.  But this week I wanted something fresh, something new.

In the story of Moses, the LORD comes to Moses in a burning bush.  Sadly, if we grew up in the church or have read Exodus a hundred times, it is easy to totally skip this, and not even think about the amazingness of this moment.  Its as if I see bushes on fire all the time, that aren't burning up.  I don't know about the bushes in your area but the bushes in Wyoming actually disintegrate when they are set on fire.

It gets even better. Moses goes to check out this bush that is on fire but not burning up and it calls his name... "Moses, Moses".  Have you ever had someone calling your name that you can't see?  Its alarming, you find yourself searching everywhere for this person and the more you can't find them, the more disturbing it becomes.

Poor alarmed Moses is standing next to a bush, that is on fire, but not burning up, that is calling his name and Moses actually answered.  His first introduction to God.  The LORD God and Moses proceed to have a conversation about the hardship of the Israelites and God's plan to deliver them and use Moses to do it.  During this conversation Moses says things like, "Who am I that you would use?", "Lets say I do this and they ask who you are, what do I do then?" and then finally, "Excuse me, but I have never been eloquent, neither in the past  nor in the present.  I am slow of speech and tongue."

As soon as I got to this part I had a hard time sticking with the rest of it, images flooded my brain of my past.  I was totally relating to Moses.... I hated to give speeches in class.  I would get nervous, couldn't eat, was sure that the world was going to mock me.  In college, I waited until my last semester to take speech.  It was literally the only class left for me to take.  And then I took it online so that I wouldn't have to give speeches to a class. I videoed myself and turned it in to the teacher.  In the syllabus one of the requirements was to give the speech to a small group of people and get their feedback.  Which I did for the first speech and I really stepped out of my comfort zone, I gave it to our staff at the church we were at, which happened to include my husband and my parents and a friend.  When I got my grade and re-watched the video I realized that my family and another staff member couldn't even be seen, so I decided for the rest of the semester I would just set the video camera up in the conference room and give it to the camera.

I'm just like Moses, I wanted a loop-hole out of speaking in front of people.  The thing is, it wasn't necessarily the speaking in front of people I was scared of, yes, my voice would shake, my stomach would be in knots, I would have way more adrenaline than I knew what to do with.  But that wasn't my fear.... my fear was "what if I mess up?"  "What if they think I'm terrible?"  I kinda think Moses may have been like that.  "What if I mess up my words, will the Pharaoh and his men laugh at me?"  Not only that,  but Moses was coming back as a wanted criminal (you should totally read the story in Exodus).  The thing I had to come to grips with, and that I struggle with every single day, is that only God can determine my usability, that is not for man to decide.  When I speak in front of people, its only for God.  Who would have known that God was preparing me and would use me to communicate His Story? Now because I love telling God's story, I have another struggle..... not letting it become about me.  When I care about the criticism, its because I care about how I look not rather or not I'm being obedient to God.

Ultimately, because of Moses' obedience he plays the leading role in one of the greatest rescues in history and is able to meet God face-to-face.  I want that!!!  I want to know the sweetness that comes with obedience.

Answered :)

Which of these cars is not like the others??? :)

On a serious note.... my kids are learning to pray.  They are learning to be patient when it feels like the answer you want just isn't coming.  

They have prayed for rain and specifically rain for the ranch.  They have prayed and prayed.  The youngest said to me, I know it will rain because I asked Jesus.  So, every time we see clouds in Torrington they get hopeful for rain at the ranch.  

But, it doesn't seem to come.  

But a week ago we were out at the ranch with the whole family eating lunch and dark clouds rolled in and the rain came and the kids celebrated!!! 

He answered!  It was tangible, they knew at that moment that they have a heavenly father that loves them and answers their prayers, even 2 month long prayers.

Anticipation

Its here... vacation time!  I have to repeat it because I almost can't believe it.... vacation time!  We are that dreaded couple that promises vacations to our kids but August roles around and we've been busy with camps and now we are busy getting ministries ready for the school year.  This year we decided that we would not be swayed... we are going on a vacation.  So tonight we leave and venture on a road trip extraordinaire.  There is adventure waiting around every corner and anticipation is building.  We will see the deepest canyon and the largest ocean and the most amazing bridge.  Superlatives will abound!!!!

Which makes me think... isn't this what my spiritual life is, a road trip extraordinaire.  There is adventure around every corner.  Jesus keeps begging me to join the adventure.  To see the deepest canyons and dip my toes in the largest ocean and walk along the most amazing bridges.  On this journey joy will be found, healing will come, and peace will reign.... superlatives will abound!  But I wait...I wait for the right time... I wait to be less tired, more awake... I wait for the kids to be more quiet... I wait for desire and then the lightbulb moment, just like I have to put the vacation on the calendar and prepare for it, I will have to put my spiritual journey on the calendar.  And anticipate all the amazing moments that will come.  To sit and lose myself in the presence of Jesus.

Singin' in The Rain

Okay, so its been HOT...I know its been HOT everywhere.  Last week we were heading into boredom, serious boredom.  The kind that makes you grumpy and lethargic and almost depressed.  The kids couldn't come up with anything they wanted to do, everything became like pulling teeth and then..... a miracle!

It rained and rained and rained! 

It cleaned out the cobwebs and renewed our creativity....

and our ability to be CRAZY....

and increased our JOY!!!!

We're singin', just singin' in the rain

Fabulous Favorite Friday... Prologue

In the prologue to Don Quixote, Cervantes tells the readers about some of the quirks and faults of his leading man.  It has lead me to think about what my prologue might sound like.  What quirks and faults would the author of my story feel compelled to address.  Would he explain to you why I'm quirky or how I came to be this way?  Who knows....

The author would most certainly tell you about the many cast of characters in my story.  He would most certainly start with my family, both immediate and extended.  He might even tell you about a day in July when some of the extended family got together to hike in the Bluffs behind the ranch and pick some chokecherries (so that we might have yummy jelly and syrup).  He would tell you about the laughter of children and the sarcasm of adults, the heat of the sun as they walked up onto the bluff and the cool of the cave, the sticky red chokecherries on fingers and the icepops after coming off the bluff.  Oh, what a story that would be.

Greet One Another

Mt Antero with 7 other women and 1seemingly random man

Since last fall I have planned on hiking Pikes Peak on June29th (the day before my birthday).  It was exactly how I wanted to spend my birthday climbing with a group of women and the tag on was a Beth Moore conference, which to be honest I could care less about.  I have this thing with band wagons.... I don't want to jump on and in my mind Beth Moore has been a Christian women band wagon.  Lots of women jump on but I don't see many of their lives being transformed... but more about that in another blog post, this is about my 14er experience.  

I spent all of the winter and spring working out and telling myself it was so that hiking Pikes Peak would be enjoyable.  It was the carrot dangling in front of me.  The Saturday before I came home from senior high camp at Maranatha sick but determined to get better and hike and then a couple of days later the dreaded text that Pikes was closed because of the fire on it. So we scrambled to find another peak in close proximity to the Springs because we still had tickets to Beth Moore.  On Tuesday, one minute we were saying no hike and the next somebody had found Antero near Buena Vista.   And we were off....

I could give you the blow by blow on the hike, but it wasn't very eventful.  Instead I'm going to tell you about Steve, the 1 random man in our picture.  When we were almost to the top a man greeted us with, "I didn't know I was going to meet up with 4 beautiful women today."  Which is quite the greeting when you're sweaty and tired and sitting on a pile of rocks waiting for the energy to summit.  We started talking to Steve and found out he was also a believer and suddenly we were all sharing our stories.  There was a new spring in our step as we ascended to the top.  After summiting and pictures and calling our spouses we sang How Great Thou Art with Steve.  What a great place to remember who the creator of all this beauty is,

Last April, my dad shared with my husband this little tidbit.... Greet One Another is the most common command in the New Testament.  So is it possible that this is what God desires of us, that as we sojourn through this life we greet one another.  And that as we greet one another we provide encouragement for the journey, a new spring comes into our step, it gets a little bit easier for the moment.  Steve was a great reminder of what happens when we take the time to greet one another.  You just never know what encouragement you might be able to bring their way OR what encouragement they will bring your way.  

It ended up being a great birthday weekend... hiking and Beth Moore.  You are just going to have to wait and see what I learned at Beth Moore.  This summer has been full of life lessons and joy as I have sojourned, and not to mention the pictures with my new camera :)  I can't wait to share them all with you!

The last of the bad pictures....

Check out my birthday present!